Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Making Love Work

Advancing technology in couple’s counseling has paved the way to perpetual possibilities and hope for healthier relationships. We now know ways to teach couples to reconnect and reach levels of intimacy never before realized. We understand that human beings are wired for connection and when we disconnect, we go into crisis. The goal is the help couples become authentic so they can discover each other, perhaps for the first time, thus allowing them to fall in love again. When the relational space between them becomes polluted, the “disconnect” is certain to happen. When we clean up that contaminated space, we reconnect with a more meaningful, honest relationship than ever thought possible. When two individuals who are committed to move their relationship forward and become truly authentic, time is eternal, says the philosopher, Martin Buber.

My recent work with Hedy Schleiffer, applying her methodology, combined with PAIRS, IMAGO THERAPY AND INNER CHILD WORK, has taken my work to heights I never knew possible. I have been able to synthesize these modalities to achieve these optimum results. Of course, the basic requirement is that both people in the relationship have a genuine sense of good will.

“There is a field beyond right thinking and beyond wrong thinking,

I will meet you there. RUMI

For couples to reach and maintain their potential as best friends, lovers and parents, they must be willing to have three major components.: committment, faith and patience.  With these essential ingredients, I am able to open up fields of understanding using communication models, listening techniques and fair fighting rules that allow each person time to be heard and to know that their partner has received the information imparted to them.  Hedy Schleiffer's THE BRIDGE allows each partner to take the other to the "tough neighborhoods" and be invited to the street of _________that they want the other partner to learn about.  In PAIRS, certain exercises allow for cleaning up the past and develop deeper respect and understanding for each other.  Using INNER CHILD WORK combined with IMAGO THERAPY (Harvilee Hendrix), potentiates closness and appreciation for the partners past and how it has impacted his/hers present.  Once this recognition is made, a new level of intimacy has been reached.

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